My 'Shaken Up" Christmas Peace

OK. I admit it. I have been listening to and singing Christmas music since July. I decorated my home as soon as Thanksgiving passed.  I've had the majority of my presents bought for ages, and I bought my personalized gifts and had them delivered long before I needed to. Yes. I love Christmas. I love almost everything about it. Honestly though, I have never cared for Santa, but I'll admit it, he does play a large part in everyone else's Christmas, so I tolerate him.

Nonetheless, Christmas has been in full swing in our household for quite some time now.   Yes, our church Christmas dinner theater, "Scrooged," not only rocked, but it officially welcomed in the season. We topped that off with the "TobyMac Hits Deep Tour" at the Huntington Center downtown--all twinkly and ending with Christmas carols; we delivered cookies and presents, planned more festivities and planned our Christmas Eve and Christmas Day events, wrapped all of our gifts, and loved gawking at everyone's lights.

Then....suddenly something unexpected happened. I felt my existence shaken, and I was left emotionally fragile. Something near and dear to my heart dramatically changed, and without warning, I was in a completely different state of mind. Tears became the norm, and I so wanted to cancel Christmas.  A part of me still does.

Tears are still the norm, and they probably will be for awhile. I am struggling to regain my Christmas peace. I am having difficulty focusing on the Redemption that Christmas provides. On the Child that wasn't wrapped in bright, shiny paper but instead was wrapped in swaddling clothes.  On the fact that unto me was born a Savior who is Christ the Lord. The Messiah, Deliverer. Our Peace and our Joy.

As I have been spending a lot of time in prayer the past few days, the Lord is reminding me that He came all wrapped in love, adorned with the ribbons of mercy and grace, and that He IS the ultimate gift. Yup. When life is dealing me some major blows, I still have the ultimate Gift. I've always known this, but sometimes I need to be reminded. When I decide to focus on my sorrows instead of my blessings, God has a way of gently reminding me. When the walls seem to be tumbling down, and I seem to be totally falling apart, He gently sends sweet texts of, "I love you," from my children. He wraps me in His arms and whispers His words of peace and comfort. "Fear not, I am with you."

My life circumstances may or may not change, but God's love for me never will. I may have lost my bestest friend, but God will never leave me. I may not see my family much this season, but God sees me, holds me and keeps me company when I am lonely and alone. Lately, I have felt like an alien on this planet, and the Lord continues to remind me that this world is not my home. This is not where I belong.  And.....he gives me peace.....that unshakable peace.......of knowing that He cares.  He's redeemed this world.....He knows my joys and sorrows and rejoices and suffers with me.....And I long for my true home.

"Sometimes it feels like I'm watching from the outside
Sometimes it feels like I'm breathing but am I alive
I won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

When the earth shakes I wanna be found in You
When the lights fade I wanna be found in You

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

 

And this is what I MUST focus on.

May each and every one of you experience that peace that Jesus came to offer. That redemption and grace that He freely gives, and the love of friends and family this Christmas.  Blessings to each and everyone.