Ah…Grace for the Good Girl. That’s the book I’m
reading. It’s written by Emily Freeman, and gosh, does it resonate with me. Not
the, ‘I need to be a good girl in order to get into heaven,’ kind of resonate.
And not the, ‘I’m a worrier with fears and anxieties that my ‘good girl’ image
is not controlling’ kind of resonate. Rather, the ‘let’s let grace pour out
boundless acceptance into my worn out heart and totally undo me,’ kind of
resonate. The, ‘releasing my tight hold on that familiar, try hard life, leaning
my weight heavy into the love of Jesus,’ kind of resonate. It totally reminds me of Stasi Eldredge’s
book, Captivating, whose Bible Study I taught for many years. Tapping
into the deep mysteries of the feminine soul in order to recapture the heart. It
reminds me that every woman desires to romanced, to play an irreplaceable role
in a heroic adventure and to have a beauty all her own to unveil. When I look at the movies I love and remember
the games I played as a little girl, I need to remember that these heart-felt
desires are God-given and are telling me the truth about who I am as a woman and the role I am meant to play and, most
importantly, I should not feel guilty for having them.
Wow! That’s a lot of femininity wrapped up in the last
paragraph. Kind of deep, I know. But it’s true.
Even down to the last syllable. Give me a woman who doesn’t want to be
romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a heroic adventure and have a beauty
all her own, and I’ll give you a great price on some swamp land in Florida. I
mean, they just don’t exist. There may be a woman, somewhere in another galaxy
of this great universe, that doesn’t resonate with those wants, but I know that
God created all woman alike (to some degree), with virtually the same wants,
desires and needs. So….as long as we are human, we females have a lot to
discover about ourselves.
I think my generation is virtually the last generation
who really feels the need to tap into their femininity. I mean, Gloria Steinhem (uggh—I don’t like
even writing her name), the pro-abortion movement (out to kill unborn woman),
Planned Parenthood (run by woman not supporting other woman), the burn your bra
and wave the flag, anti Vietnam woman----definitely not my generation. Thank
God. Nope, I was technically the generation before that. Yes, I am that old.
I’ve tried to teach my tomboy daughters how to tap into their feminine spirit,
how to get that ‘grace for the good girl,’ without always having to be a good
girl. To their credit, they always want to change the definition of good girl,
and by doing so, they are always playing with my mind. Geesh!
I mean, I thought good girls didn’t get tattoos. Boy, was I mistaken. I mean, I’m a good girl, and so are my
daughters, and yet……guess, who led the line with that experience? It was definitely a freeing moment. Back to my thoughts. I thought good girls didn’t get body
piercings. Again, I was mistaken. I
thought good girls didn’t speak out of turn, didn’t get involved in
controversial topics, were always nice and polite, and the list goes on. Whew!
Have I ever been mistaken. Apparently, I have not extended God’s fully imparted
grace to myself for being a self proclaimed ‘good girl.’ I’ve realized I’m
turning 50 in just 3 months, so I have begun to extend myself grace all the
more—that grace that God had intended for me to have and accept all along—that
grace that allows me to break the molds that I have placed myself into—that
grace that allows me disagree with people and not feel guilty and to actually
feel right. I have to admit, I love that
last one. J Grace to sit around in the evenings, laying
on a hammock, watching endless movies—all while the housework waits and the
dinner is served late. Grace to, yes, get a tattoo with my daughters, to get a
third ear piercing, to become controversially involved in politics and the
pro-life debate, to speak against injustice and to actually confront. Yikes.
Confront. Yep. Confrontation doesn’t have to always been a bad girl thing.
Wow! There’s a lot of freedom in grace. Especially when
you’re a good girl, like me. I’ll take
it. I hope you have not only accepted
God’s freely given grace-card and that you are living in that freedom. If not,
consider it. I’m sure you’ll be glad you did.
No comments:
Post a Comment